10 Things Holding You Back from Enjoying Church

Okay, I’m going to confess up front that this comes in large part from the inspiration of an article by Jeff Haden, 10 Things Holding You Back from Being Happy at Work. I encourage you to look up and read this article.

http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/10-ways-youre-spoiling-your-professional-and-personal-life.html

I am adapting, making up, and presenting ideas that came through the inspiration of his article.

1. Judging the ministry by the size

“Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should NOT!” – Yoda, Star Wars

What do people need from a church? Crowds of strangers, lots of programs, professional and orchestrated music and worship, a multitude of options? People need discipleship which combines teaching with personal training, including encouragement, correction, discipline, affirmation, and a strong bond of support. They need a fellowship where they can be themselves, learn to love and forgive, experience acceptance and encouragement, and where they can share their lives with others. They need an opportunity to worship with people who encourage them to connect with God through Christ. They need apprenticeship in a place where they are encouraged to discover their spiritual gifts, learn to serve in a supportive environment, and begin to share their faith with others.

 2. Serving out of duty rather than calling

A lot of pressure is placed on people to fill a church’s needs rather than finding where people are called, equipped and enjoy serving. When people feel forced to serve in a particular role or ministry, either by others or by themselves, they resent the service. When they are miserable, they invariably spread their misery, purposefully or inadvertently, to others. No one is blessed by this situation, not the church, not the person, not those served. Don’t feel tempted to say “Yes” when you mean “No.”

3. Allowing gossip to be presented as “sharing”

NEWS FLASH: Gossip really is a sin. “Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not” (1 Timothy 5:13 ESV). Gossip is often based on misinformation, lack of information, speculation, intuition and embellishment but is presented as factual information. We should consider the various kinds of problems caused by gossip (Psalm 41:7-8; Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 17:9; 20:19; 25:9, 18). And we should remember that the same person who is sharing gossip about others with you will, no doubt, be sharing gossip about YOU with others.

4. Trying to seem super-spiritual to fit in

Even Noah, who was righteous in his generation, was not a perfect man or perfect follower of God. He had faith, but even he had moments of failure. We get the idea that we have to have a certain type of personality or be a certain kind of Christian to fit in. God created your personality and wants you to express it (within Biblical limits). Don’t think that you have to have a certain language (“O ye of little faith”) or a certain expression (always smiling in a saintly sort of way) to fit in with the faithful. Yes, the church is a hospital for sinners, not a trophy hall of saints (or, if you like, museum for saints).

5. Allowing ourselves to consistently be late to services

Okay, I’m officially meddling. However, when we consistently show up late for services, we are making several value statements about God and His church that we need to consider. Are we saying, “My time is more important than my worship of God”? Are we communicating that the church is not that important to us? We certainly miss out on information that might be needed or make a difference in our involvement. Do we want people to think that we are not that interested in really being a part? The truth is: I’m glad when I see people show up for services, whenever that is. But they do miss out by not being on time. They often come in irritated and rushed. They may not be in a frame of mind to receive the greatest benefit from the service.  They may arrive frustrated, angry, agitated and incapable of entering into spiritual activity. As Jeff Haden reminds us: You allow yourself to be late.

6. Lagging behind or jumping ahead

We often lag behind the leading of the Spirit, wanting overwhelming proof and unfailing confidence that our course is right, is going to be successful, is without error in planning or judgment. Walking by faith means that we must move as God leads without demanding those things. We allow fear to paralyse us and keep us from moving forward under the leading of the Spirit. We also find ourselves tempted, at times, to jump ahead and move without God’s leading. Again, we are motivated by fear, fear that we will lose an opportunity, that we will be backed into a corner, that we will miss out, even that we will get bored. Impatience can be our undoing. Keeping in step with the Spirit is always the answer to these two extremes.

7. Not making time for spiritual life and growth

Just making a commitment to follow Christ is not enough. As in marriage, the relationship must grow and develop, which demands effort (sometimes, more effort than we thought would be necessary). Spiritual growth doesn’t just happen; it isn’t just automatic. Time must be allowed and energy expended to do what is necessary to grow spiritually. When we don’t make the time, or decide we don’t have the time, we are saying that it isn’t worth spending time developing this area of our lives or this relationship with God.

8. Harboring resentment

Jeff Haden quotes Nelson Mandela: Resentment is like drinking poison then hoping it will kill your enemies. The same applies to bitterness, jealousy, strife, and envy. We must embrace the full message of the gospel about love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Why do we allow ourselves to continue to be miserable (and, at times, even make ourselves miserable) by harboring these poisonous feelings about others. We are the only ones who suffer from them.

9. Undervaluing people

When we interrupt others, or refuse to give them an opportunity to speak, or ignore them, their opinions, their ideas or their concerns, we subtly (or not so) communicate that people are not that important around here. When we don’t give them an opportunity to serve, or to make a contribution, or be a part, we are saying, “You don’t matter.” Our most important asset, our most valuable resource, is our people. We must find ways to communicate their value and importance in our church.

10. Overvaluing our contribution

Some people say, “This is my church!” and mean by it that they feel a sense of belonging, a feeling of acceptance, a gratitude for the experience. Others say, “This is MY church!” and mean by it that this church belongs to them and it’s THEIR way or the HIGHWAY! I’m thankful that God chooses to use us in his service, but I must never get the idea that he NEEDS ME in order to get it done. When everything has to be done my way or to please me, I become miserable (partly because nothing ever goes exactly my way, or I get tired of fighting to make it go my way).

Let’s find ways to jettison these inhibitors!