When I wrote on The Righteousness Which Comes by Faith, I received the following response:

Mark Mills comments:  I think our reluctance to know a righteousness in Him through a relationship with Him is because to get in a relationship means intimacy, and it’s fearful enough to become emotionally intimate with another person, much less Almighty God. By concentrating on the “do’s and don’ts” of religion, we don’t have to invest ourselves and get too close, and hope that He will do the same!

In some ways, it seems odd that people would think that way, because when God is speaking to us, He uses terms of relationship; children, father, bride, groom, even lover. Guess that’s just one more way of looking right at something, and never seeing it!

Dear Fellowship of the Burning Heart:

I appreciate Mark’s comment and I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I was going to issue a reply, but I think it demands a lengthier and more prominent consideration. Now about the title: authentic refers to that which is genuine or real. Synthetic is used in the sense of that which is not genuine or sincere.

It came to me that maybe we are assuming that we understand what is meant by pursuing a relationship with God. And that assumption may be a part of the problem – a big part! So, I want to ask some questions and stimulate some thinking and discussion about relationship: what it means to have an authentic one.

I wonder if most our relationships are defined by position, performance, or practices. For instance, at work we hold a position, are judged by our performance, and given various practices (or duties) to perform. At church or in the home, those same categories hold. Now I am not suggesting that these things prohibit relationship, but they may become an interference.

If the basis of authentic relationship is love and trust, we may find that these categories work against us. It may not be so easy to trust a boss who holds of a position where, if she were to really get to know me, she might decide to release me from that job. I might be reluctant to trust a fellow employee who seeks to undermine me or constantly criticizes me. I probably would find it hard to love a difficult coworker or boss. And I might also be tempted to think that because I hold a position, perform well, or carry out my duties that I actually know and am relating to others. I have known men who thought that because they held a position of status, provided amply for the material needs of their family, and gave their wives presents, that they were good husbands. Imagine their shock in finding an unfaithful or departing wife who is lamenting the lack of an authentic relationship.

As I think about it, I can see the possibility of having many relationships where neither love nor trust exist. Can you?

So, what are the evidences of an authentic relationship and what are the keys practices that foster it?